Music and Jogging

Jogging without music = get tired easily, get bored easily, cannot really relax your mind, lack of ideas.

Jogging with music = everything I need to keep me healthy and calm after a hard day. 🙂

Just me and music, we run through the hard life, run through pain, run through the loneliness, run through the stress, run through the limit!

I dare you to love me

When you asked me if I want to tell you about what made my day bad, I smiled.

Thank you, for asking me such a normal question. Thank you, for acting like you care.

I told you “maybe later, I don’t feel like talking about it now while we’re just chatting.” but in fact, I’m not sure whether if I should tell you about it or not. Telling you my pain or keep my family portrait clean? No, maybe I shouldn’t tell you. I’m okay with that, I’m used to it. Am I? I don’t know. I don’t feel anything now. I’m not that sad which I’m supposed to be within what I saw. Maybe I don’t care about it anymore. But I’m still scared. I’m scared that the feelings which I’m supposed to feel now suddenly explode someday for no reasons, again. Or maybe I’m really okay, 100% ’cause this has happened since I was 5 so I must be very used to it. Who care. I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of thinking anything in the world now. I just need you now, sitting there, asking kind of superficial questions, or yet doing nothing, just sitting there…with me.

Just thinking of your face now. Nothing more, nothing else matters.

I don’t why I like you that much. I don’t know why I want you that much. Still can’t find reasons.

I don’t give a shit about anything in this world now. All I want is you since you asked me “how was your day?”.

Why things have to be that complicated? Why I have to pretend that I don’t care about you? Why I can’t just ask you “Do you want to fall in love with me?” and then you say “Yes. I do.” and then we could stay happy together.

Baby, I want to be there with you, in your bed, but this time we don’t have to think about anyone else in the world, this time I’m yours and you’re mine, just us in the world, and we can make out for hours or even more If you want to. I wanna be with you. I want to be your one and only….

But I know you don’t wish for the same thing. You don’t even care. No, you don’t. I don’t know you. I don’t know anything at all. That’s why I have to hate you, try to ignore you, pretend like I don’t give a shit about you.

What’s the point of fate now? Will fate bring us together?

Friday, Jan 06, 2012
Never having this feeling before, the feeling of thinking so much of someone who don’t do the same.

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

I turn the music up, I got my records on
I shut the world outside until the lights come on
Maybe the streets alight, maybe the trees are gone
I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song

And all the kids they dance, all the kids all night
Until Monday morning feels another life
I turn the music up
I’m on a roll this time
And heaven is in sight

I turn the music up, I got my records on
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
Don’t want to see another generation drop
I’d rather be a comma than a full stop

Maybe I’m in the black, maybe I’m on my knees
Maybe I’m in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart

As we saw oh this light I swear you, emerge blinking into
To tell me it’s alright
As we soar walls, every siren is a symphony
And every tear’s a waterfall
Is a waterfall
Is a waterfall
Oh oh oh
Is a is a waterfall
Every tear
Is a waterfall
Oh oh oh

So you can hurt, hurt me bad
But still I’ll raise the flag

It was a wa wa wa wa wa-aterfall
A wa wa wa wa wa-aterfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall

Every tear
Every tear
Every teardrop is a waterfall

Riding aimlessly on street, music was in my head. Started to cry.
First teardrop, I’m in hell. Can’t breathe and I’m numb. Feel like I have no friends, no friends who ever really care or even know about my feelings. Feel like I’m an robot so people don’t believe that I have feelings or soul or heart to be broken. Somewhere in my body hurts, really hurts, but I don’t know where. I’m tired, maybe for the sleepless 48 hours, or maybe for her cold words. I don’t know anything now. Just riding and feeling the pain running in my veins. So I’ve just found my tear – The first teardrop, I’m in hell all by myself.

Second teardrop, I think about the people who is dying somewhere out there. And then I want to cry more, but wonder what for (?!) at the same time. I’m still alive. I can’t die, no I can’t just die and feel free. I was born in this life for reasons, to pay for Karma. Was I? I’m broken into pieces, but I know I’m not the only one. There are too many people in this world for me to feel that I’m the only one who is in the bottom of sadness.

Last teardrop, who care if I have anyone or what I’m feeling now. Who care. The world won’t stop and stare. People won’t listen ’cause we all have our own scream. So now, I decide to stop screaming and give more chances to listen. Listen to the sound of this life, the sound of hope and love. I find my soul in heaven. Yeah I’m crying, I’m broken and hurt. But who care. I’m still alive, standing on my own feet. I’m my own saviour, always, and if you’re feeling down now, come take my hand. I can be your hero too.

I’m not robot. I have a heart which content the biggest love; a sould which can heal the pain; and strong hands which can plant a beautiful life.

Monday, Jan 02, 2012
I found my tears. 🙂

Think back and replay your year; if it doesn’t bring you tears of either joy or sadness, consider it wasted. – Ally McBeal

2011, Buh-Bye!

Sunday, Jan 01, 2012

Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!

What I had in 2011: Nothing.

What I hope in 2012: Everything. :))

Best wishes to you all! 🙂